We’re driving and I’m looking at my husband for what seems like the first time in a few weeks. His face wears the same exhaustion and worry as mine. We’re completely caught up in the day to day grind of life. We’re truly just going through the motions of life.
We get up, we drag our family out the door, we go to work and then go home after long days and attempt to have some meaningful time together as a family before bedtime. Sleep really isn’t a thing right now, and that’s okay. I’m sure McDonald’s appreciates my double coffee purchase every morning as much as I do, too.
An old, familiar song comes on the radio and it takes me back to a slower season of life. Back before we had dark circles under our eyes, and we drove around for the fun of it, not to calm unhappy babies.
No one fell asleep while we were driving tonight. Instead we heard little voices unhappy because our busy night meant we were headed home to bed, and there would be no time to play.
We wouldn’t trade this life for anything, but most evenings we lie down at night, asking each other how we are doing this, and fall asleep wondering how we can do better tomorrow. Most nights really end with us laughing because the chaos is a blessing, but some nights end in silence because it can be down right overwhelming.
We’re sitting in bed now, and I’m watching my husband again. He’s trying so hard to balance this life too and he shoots me a long glance. Our eyes are heavy, but they speak a thousand words. Silent words of understanding and exhaustion, love and chaos.