I wake up every day with the best intentions: take a shower, appear put together (thank God for BB Cream and dry shampoo), have well behaved kids, refrain from cursing, finish my infinitely long to-do list at work, take care of my hubby, grow this blog that I love… the list could go on and on. Social media makes us look picture perfect, like we’ve got it all together, but we don’t. It’s a really good front.
I barely made it out of bed and to work this morning. I wanted my ten minute shower to be an hour. Even though our four kiddos were coming in and out with every question imaginable, the hot water running down my head and back felt amazing. Work was busy with no shortage of actual work or meetings. I ran late leaving work, rushing to daycare to get babies and home to get dance recital costumes, and to rehearsal.
My big kiddos did great and my sister, an instructor, made me proud. Dance recital with a two year old who has a sensory processing disorder, is not so awesome. I could’ve posted cute pictures of my little dancers tonight where it appeared that the evening went smoothly, but it didn’t. I sat criss-cross applesauce on the floor next to my sweet baby who was overwhelmed and stuck in her emotions, on the verge of tears myself. There isn’t anything we can really do for her but sit-by and wait. She came around for a little while before becoming overwhelmed and angry again.
I thought going to dinner with my mom, sister and her family, and kiddos sounded great to help pass time while my hubby wrapped up his day. After spilling the baby’s water everywhere, and both littles having meltdowns, I did what any mom would do and poured my untouched margarita into what was the baby’s cup, packed them up and came home. I feel like such a rebel. I came home, where I cried in the driveway, wishing that my husband wasn’t still five minutes away and that I could cool down and get it together, but I couldn’t.
Now, I’m typing this up because it’s so important that people know that no one has it all together, while nursing my overwhelmed mind and my margarita, listening to a baby who just can’t go to sleep.
And although I’m still overwhelmed, I know that I’m also overwhelmingly blessed to have this picture perfect life.