Sweet baby,

Tomorrow, our life changes. Tomorrow, momma is headed back to work and your care will be entrusted to someone else for eight hours each day. I’m ready to go back, but I’m not ready to leave you.

We have been through so much together during my time off and that’s time that I will forever be thankful for. I know you don’t really understand yet, but when I drop you off for the first time tomorrow and again in the days ahead, I hope you know how much I love you. We’ve been inseparable for the past year, and carrying you and caring for you is what I’ve lived for.

Today, I hoped that time would slow to a crawl. I spent every available second staring at your face, talking to you and watching my tears fall on to your sweet, chubby cheeks.

Now here we are, at the close of our full-time togetherness and I’m watching you through the bassinet praying that tomorrow goes well for both of us and thanking God for letting me be your mommy. These are days and moments I could live over and over again. I love you!

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Working

Wow, I’m not sure where the past few months and my maternity leave have gone, but it’s been a whirlwind. Our sweet Oria has been the perfect addition to our family. While her first month was hectic and we spent some unexpected time in the hospital (Sandifer Syndrome), I’ve enjoyed every minute of being home with her. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t missed my career though.

Being a working mom to four doesn’t come without judgement from others. “Why aren’t you staying home?” “No one else should raise your kids.” “Family comes first.” “Why don’t you go back to work once they are all in school?”

For our family and my sanity, me working makes the most sense. I love my children and every moment spent with them with all of my heart. However, I enjoy being a part of something that affects the lives of millions (hopefully in a positive way) everyday. It’s taken me four pregnanices and births to realize that it’s okay that I want to work. There is absolutely no shame and should be no guilt for wanting to be a work-outside-the-home mom, just as there shouldn’t be for work-at-home moms. I firmly feel that God has directed me to work in HR and to be a mother and that’s great. And I can promise that I put 110% of myself into everything that I do, at work and at home. And I can promise that in all that I do, I try to serve God.

So, for moms and dads everywhere, it doesn’t matter if you work outside of or inside of your home. Wherever you are working and whatever you are doing, do so with all of your heart. God has placed you where you need to be.