Blessings Learned

Finding the Sweet Spot

For a few years, I’ve been telling myself that as long as I’m making this certain dollar amount a year by the time I turn thirty, I’ll know that I’m doing okay in life.

Guess what?

I’m now thirty and not making that dollar amount (not even close), and God used this to remind me of my real worth and of the true blessings in my life.

I literally had a birthday and woke up the next day with a new perspective.

I’ve found such a sweet spot at thirty. I’ve never before felt so great about where I’m at in life and it has absolutely nothing to do with a dollar amount that’s been determined by a company and some letters behind my name.

It has everything to do with putting together puzzles, licking the bowl after we bake cupcakes and middle of the night cries for “momma”.

My accomplishments in life will come from this sweet spot in time. God-willing my accomplishments will grow and bloom and serve and lead. And that reward far outweighs any amount of monetary compensation I’ll ever receive.

I now know that I can’t set these kinds of goals for success, because they detract from what’s most important in my life – puzzles, cupcakes and being momma.

Blessings Learned

Turning thirty sure was sweet. Of course my favorite gift was not from the store, it was spending time with my not-so-little family. However, I did receive this beautiful The Pioneer Woman Willow Cookbook Holder.

I’m so looking forward to trying out a cookie recipe this weekend, and even more excited that my favorite cookbooks won’t be laying on the counter anymore!

Blessings Learned

cookies & chaos

Phew, we made it through 2017 and what a year it was for our family. We were blessed to watch our kiddos grow, added a beautiful new addition to our family, and I was finally brave enough to start a blog. The year also brought along with it seizure scares with both of our littles. The oldest little had only a febrile seizure while our youngest little spent half of her first month of life in and out of intermediate care for a potential seizure disorder. We were so thankful to receive her Sandifer Syndrome diagnosis and bring home a happy, and otherwise healthy baby.

This year will begin a new season of life for our family. For the first time since 2010 (with the exception of 2012), we aren’t expecting or bringing home a new baby. I’m having a difficult time with it, more on that another day, but looking forward to 2018.

I’m not one to make resolutions because life happens and they are hard to keep. However, in 2018 I do have some hopes.

  1. Finish two Bible studies I started.
  2. Find and create experiences for our family. Whether it be a picnic, trip to a museum or mini-vacation.
  3. Practice my baking skills and make a whole lot of cookies and desserts.
  4. Live a more minimilastic life. Bye-bye clutter.
  5. Embrace the chaos!

With that said, my theme for 2018 is cookies & chaos. I’ll be baking, experiencing life and finding blessings in the mess and sharing.

Sending you wishes for a cookie and chaos (the good kind) filled 2018!

Blessings Learned

Today

Today, I’m facing a challenge. It’s not a bad challenge but it might be life-altering. It’s terrifying and exciting and overwhelming, and wrapped up neatly into one messy ball.

I’m a perfectionist.

I’m a control freak.

And I’m not perfect and definitely not in control this week. And what’s even more of a challenge for this closet D (personality), other people are going to realize that I’m not perfect or in control. I hate it when people figure that out.

Okay, really they already know that but I have to acknowledge that they know it.

I don’t like that.

But, you know what?

The experiences we can’t control and that aren’t perfect tend to be the ones that grow us. While my experience today has pushed me to the brink of insanity, I’m still alive and I’m growing. And that my friends is pretty great.

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Quick Lunch #1

I’m sure there are others out there, who love stir-fry like I do. So here’s a quick and budget friendly lunch idea for you.

We are big meat eaters and usually try to cook enough to have leftovers, which was the case today.

All you need is in this picture.

Just combine the following in a skillet lightly coated with olive oil and cook over medium-high heat for about 5 minutes.

– 1 package, frozen Stir-fry Starters*

– leftover meat (That would be a grilled pork chop for me today.)

– Stir-fry Sauce, to taste.

*If going home for lunch isn’t an option grab a steamable bag of Stir-fry starter and use these awesome Pyrex Simply Store 14 Piece Round Food Storage Set with Colored Lids, Multi“>Pyrex bowls to heat it up in the microwave.

I’m nursing the baby, so my appetite is ravenous and I devour the whole thing, but it could definitely be split into two meals.

Enjoy!

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Messy Monday

I vowed to be authentic when starting my blog, so authentic is what you get and really I hope it helps other mommas feel like they aren’t alone.

I have NO clue what I’m doing.

Today, I had a large hot coffee, large iced coffee and a Pepsi in way less time than anyone should, used what seemed like a whole can of dry shampoo (Dove brand, I could never bring myself to spend more than $5 on dry shampoo), and stared at my computer screen for lots of hours wishing my big project at work could prep itself while simultaneously biting the bullet and working to get it done.

Much of my evening was spent with a cluster feeding baby and trying to wrangle our cute little messes. They were a real treat tonight. Please see ornery toddler who decided to take a bath in her shirt and diaper and came prepared with swimming goggles below.

You can’t be mad at that face! She was so proud. I wanted to blog about our delicious dinner and dessert tonight, but that’s far from on my mind right now – maybe tomorrow, because it was too good not to share.

Also real life – I misplaced the keys to my office a week or two ago, just kidding a couple of months ago. You’ll never guess where I found them tonight? In my purse that’s been hanging on the back of the dining room chair for months. I don’t carry it anymore because I’ve always got sidekicks who need diapers and wipes and back-up outfits and a purse would be just one more thing to carry. And in full transparency – I very, very rarely even remember the diaper bag. It’s usually a mad dash out the door with a couple of diapers and wipes in hand, if we are lucky.

To end our night, the 3.5 month old has decided that rolling to her belly to sleep is a great idea, momma does not agree. I know, I know she rolled over under her own power and I should leave her alone, but my anxiety ain’t having that.

I’ll be awake watching her if anyone needs anything at all, embracing this Monday. It’s been messy, but blessed.

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9 to 5 or 5 to 9

I’m sure most moms can relate whether they work in or out of the home. I don’t have to be on my game from just 9 to 5, it’s more like 5 to 9. Sometimes I feel like I’m winning the game and sometimes I strike out before it starts.

Today started at 4:30 with a hungry baby, followed by 45 minutes of tossing and turning, and then several turns of sleepily hitting the snooze button. Of course, I find that I’m normally almost back to sleep right before the alarm goes off. When I finally rolled out of bed at 5:30 6, my cheeks were burning and my right eye was swollen shut. No clue what I’m allergic to, but after calling my momma for reassurance that I wasn’t dying and whining to my hubby, I got ready for the day.

I finally made it to work around 7:30, and the day was peaceful and productive (love those days). The baby had physical therapy at 2, and while I had a ton to get done at work, I was pretty excited to pick my big guy up from school. Between 3 and 5, we made it to Wal-mart for a hair cut and groceries, picked up the big girls, defrosted hamburger, dropped the big guy off at piano, made dinner, and picked the big guy back up. Things have been a bit quieter (hahaha) since then and even though the house is a disaster, we’re watching Harry Potter and enjoying the evening.

I’m also attempting to correct the color job on my hair, because I thought I’d pretend to be a pro and lighten it myself over the weekend. That was not a good idea! Lesson learned.

It’s been a day where I feel like I’ve accomplished so much, but nothing all at the same time. And now that it’s 9:01, I’m calling it a night. 😉

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Wanted to share one of my favorite recipes tonight, and it comes from the Crockin’ Girls.

In true Becker family fashion, we didn’t know this morning what we would have for dinner tonight – InstantPot to the rescue. We love this Most Amazing Pork Chops Ever recipe. The gravy is delicious and really warms your soul. Our only recommendation is if using a pressure cooker to reduce the amount of chicken broth significantly to make it more of a gravy. We also substituted pork steaks for pork chops tonight in an attempt to empty out our deep freeze before our hog comes at the end of the month.

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Sweet baby,

Tomorrow, our life changes. Tomorrow, momma is headed back to work and your care will be entrusted to someone else for eight hours each day. I’m ready to go back, but I’m not ready to leave you.

We have been through so much together during my time off and that’s time that I will forever be thankful for. I know you don’t really understand yet, but when I drop you off for the first time tomorrow and again in the days ahead, I hope you know how much I love you. We’ve been inseparable for the past year, and carrying you and caring for you is what I’ve lived for.

Today, I hoped that time would slow to a crawl. I spent every available second staring at your face, talking to you and watching my tears fall on to your sweet, chubby cheeks.

Now here we are, at the close of our full-time togetherness and I’m watching you through the bassinet praying that tomorrow goes well for both of us and thanking God for letting me be your mommy. These are days and moments I could live over and over again. I love you!

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I’m human.

I was working on a blog about time management, and how I really stink at it, but that’s not really what is on my heart.

I’m sharing today because I think as a mom and as a person, it’s important to know you aren’t alone and that it’s okay to ask for help when you need it.

About forty-five minutes ago, after some strong encouragement from family and one hard swallow of my pride and a pill, I took the anti-anxiety medicine prescribed to me a few weeks ago. Right now, I’m hovering between feeling like Super Man encountering Kryptonite because taking this pill means I dont have it all together (I HATE admitting this) and Super Woman because I’m acknowledging and taking control of my emotions. There is no middle ground right now and well, that has to be okay.

We’ve had a lot of stress in our lives over the past twelve weeks, and it is nothing compared to what many other people are going through. I’m really thankful for the stress. It’s such a blessing to have a beautiful baby to worry about and I’m not happy that our Suburban caught on fire but everyone is okay and it can be replaced. However, I’ve reached my limit and ability to cope without some help.

I’m a self-proclaimed perfectionist, and over doer and that makes acknowledging the above (that I need help) so hard. To top off all of the stress, post-partum anxiety is serious. I have battled post-partum anxiety after every pregnancy and with the exception of the complete breakdown I had back in 2012, I’ve never asked for help, and even then I didn’t ask.

I’m not one to talk, or make recommendations because I obviously don’t listen very well, but it’s okay to need help and it’s okay to not be able to handle it all. (Keep reminding me of this, if you see me.)

I’m not Super Woman.

Life is real.

My emotions are raw.

I’m vulnerable.

I’m overwhelmed.

I’m some kind of messy.

I’m human.

And I’m not in control, but…

God is in control.

I can pray.

I can accept His grace and mercy.

I can ask for help.

I can take medicine.

I can be human.

It will all be okay.

Know the signs of anxiety. It’s okay to ask for help, for yourself or someone else you love, from a medical professional, and you should. Because you aren’t alone, and the battle isn’t just yours. You are human and you are loved.